i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
