she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
