if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
