Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
