i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
