When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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