OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
