There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
