I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
