yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the condom got lost in my hair
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize