how can u be prego again
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
