Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
