My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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