@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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