thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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