Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
