Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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