That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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