every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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