This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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