she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
