Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I am available for nakedness
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
