Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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