Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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