I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize