I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize