obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
