wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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