I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
