youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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