So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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