I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
