The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
