i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
