Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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