sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
