let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
