I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you still have your period?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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