I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
