I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
