I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
