Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
