The maid of honor just puked.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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