areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Welp...herpes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize