I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
