the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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