i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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