apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize