ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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