you traded sex for a burrito?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
