last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
