someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm both gender and math confused
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
