I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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