I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
