I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
