Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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