Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
