All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize