you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
