She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am spending my child support on dildos
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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