i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
