i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
