sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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